Cell Block Hetalia
by SerasKucheki
Summary: What happens when the ukes of Hetalia are tired of the semes that constantly annoy or cheating on them. There's only one way to find out and that's to listen to their little song. Warning: Character Deaths  Lots of pairings


This was more of an on the dot inspiration by listening to the song. Some of the pairings or what they did may not make sense and may be a little OOC but I thought it would be interesting to see what the uke's would do when very irritated. The link to the video: .com/watch?v=GoCZEmfnE-M

* * *

Cell Block Hetalia

Norway yelled, "Pop!"

Alfred stated, "Six!"

Roderich followed, "Squish."

Elizaveta cried, "Uh-uh."

Kiku calmly stated while smoking, "Cicero."

Arthur yelled, "Francis!"

Sadik began to appear out of the darkness outside of Belgium's cell. "And now the six marry murderesses of the cook county jail in their rendition of the cell block tango."

"Pop!"

"Six!"

"Squish."

"Uh-uh."

"Cicero."

"Francis!"

"Pop!"

"Six!"

"Squish."

"Uh-uh."

"Cicero."

"Francis!"

"Pop!"

"Six!"

"Squish."

"Uh-uh."

"Cicero."

"Francis!"

"Pop!"

"Six!"

"Squish."

"Uh-uh."

"Cicero."

"Francis!"

_He had it coming._

_He had it coming._

_He only had himself to blame._

_If you'd have been there._

_If you'd have seen it!_

Kiku exclaimed, "I betcha you would have done the same!"

"Pop!"

"Six!"

"Squish."

"Uh-uh."

"Cicero."

"Francis!"

"Pop!"

"Six!"

"Squish."

"Uh-uh."

"Cicero."

"Francis!"

Norway was walking along as he lit match after match. "You know how people have these little habits that get you down… like Denny. Denny liked to chew gum. No, not chew, _popping._"

_Denny got home early like he usually did and was watching the sports channel. He got himself a beer and some gum. Norway walked into the house very irritated by the day. Everything seemed to be against him today. He saw that once again Denny was in his usual spot chewin', no, not chewin', popping his gum. "If you pop that gum, one more time…" Norway warned walking over to him as his eye twitched very close to his snapping point. He didn't get out he could deal with this man for this long. Denny looked up at him and smiled as he blew a bubble, larger than normal, before letting it pop._

"So I took the shotgun off the wall and I fired two warning shots... into his head." stressed Norway running out of matches.

_He had it coming._

_He had it coming._

_He only had himself to blame!_

_If you'd have been there._

_If you'd have heard it._

_I betcha you would have done the same!_

Alfred was dealing out the cards for them to begin their poker usual poker game. "I met Ivan Braginski from Salt Lake City about two years ago and he told me he was single and we hit it off right away."

_Ivan and Alfred were sitting at the table as they were eating. Alfred always made Ivan his drink, a special drink that only he could prepare perfectly, or so Ivan had told him. It wasn't until one day a phone call happened and Ivan wasn't there to pick it up. _'Single' he told me? Single my ass. _Apparently this 'single' man had six wives in storage. Gilbert, Natalia, Katashya, Toris, Eduard, and Raivis. He was a Mormon so it was understandable. So when he came home that night he fixed dinner and his drink like nothing was wrong._

"You know, some guys just can't hold their arsenic." smiled Alfred before showing his cards to present a winning hand.

_Hah! He had it coming_

_He had it coming_

_He took a flower_

_In its prime_

_And then he used it_

_And he abused it_

_It was a murder_

_But not a crime!_

_Roderich was cooking the dinner like usual and he even decided to treat Ludwig tonight by cooking up his favorite meal, chicken. He was carving it up minding his own business when his husband suddenly stormed into the kitchen. Ludwig was in a jealous rage, "You been screwin' Basch!" He was crazy and he just kept screaming at him. "You been screwin' Basch!"_

"And then he ran into my knife. He ran into my knife ten times." stated Roderich looking away from the mirror to make the point across.

_If you'd have been there_

_If you'd have seen it_

_I betcha you would have done the same!_

_Mit keresek, enn itt? Azt mondjok, hogy lakem lefogta a ferjemet en meg lecsaptam a fejet. De nem igaz, en artatlan vagyok. Nem tudom mert mondja Uncle Sam hogy en tetten. Probaltam a rendorsegen megmagyarazni de nem ertettek meg..._

"Yeah, but did you do it?" asked Belgium.

"UH-UH, not guilty!" exclaimed Elizaveta with a sad tone.

"My brother, Im and I had this double act and my husband, Yao, traveled around with us. Now, for the last number in our act, we did 20 acrobatic tricks. One two three four, five...splits, spread eagles, back flips, flip flops, one right after the other." began explaining Kiku.

_Kiku, Yao, and Im were staying at the hotel Cicero. The three of them were boozing and having a few laughs. Soon they ran out of ice and Kiku volunteered to go and get some ice. Well, when he came back, he opened the door and there was Yao and Im, doing number seventeen, the spread eagle. Kiku was such in a state of shock that he completely blacked out until he was at the show watching his hands that were covered in blood._

"I even knew they were dead." sneered Kiku.

_They had it coming_

_They had it coming_

_They had it coming all along_

_I didn't do it_

_But if I'd done it_

_How could you tell me that I was wrong?_

_They had it coming_

_(They had it coming)_

_They had it coming_

_(They had it coming)_

_They had it coming_

_(They took a flower)_

_All along_

_(In its prime)_

_I didn't do it_

_(And then they used it)_

_But if I'd done it_

_(And they abused it)_

_How could you tell me_

_(It was a murder)_

_That I was wrong?_

_(But not a crime!)_

"I loved Francis Bonnefoy more than I can possibly say. He was a real artistic guy... sensitive... a painter. But he was always trying to find himself." stated Arthur as they sat down at the table at the sound of the whistle so they could eat lunch.

_Francis would go out every night on the town looking for himself and more creativity. Of course, while on the way, he found Antonio, Matthew, Feliciano, and Sey. Arthur was tired of Francis cheating on him all the time so he decided to break it off finally. He blamed it on the fact that they had artistic differences._

"He saw himself as alive and I saw him dead." Arthur explained simply taking a bite of his food.

_The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum_

_The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum_

_They had it comin'_

_(They had it comin')_

_They had it comin'_

_(They had it comin')_

_They had it comin'_

_(They had it comin')_

_All along_

_(All along)_

_'Cause if they used us_

_'Cause if they used us and they abused us_

_And they abused us_

_How could you tell us_

_(How could you tell us That we were wrong?)_

_That we were wrong?_

_He had it coming_

_He had it coming_

_He only had_

_Himself_

_To blame._

_If you'd have been there_

_If you'd have seen it_

_I betcha_

_You would_

_Have done_

_The same!_

"You pop that gum one more time!" warned Norway.

"Single my ass." growled Alfred.

"Ten times!" exclaimed Roderich.

"Miert csukott Uncle Same bortonbe." explained Elizaveta.

"Number seventeen-the spread eagle." stated Kiku.

"Artistic differences." sneered Arthur.

Norway yelled, "Pop!"

Alfred stated, "Six!"

Roderich followed, "Squish."

Elizaveta cried, "Uh-uh."

Kiku calmly stated while smoking, "Cicero."

Arthur yelled, "Francis!"

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Reviews are greatly appreciated~!


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